Randomness!
by fantasyaddict101
Summary: This is a collection of very random 'one-shot' stories. The stories will include shorts from Twilight, Transformers, Maximum Ride, and probably other stories/movies. Like I said, very random, but totally worth reading! Updated whenever I have an idea.
1. Twilight: The Disagrement

**Hello! Welcome to my brain! My first story is about Twilight!**

**Okay Prologue: THIS IS AFTER BREAKING DAWN!!!! Bella's change, Renesmee, impriting, it's all there.**

**Alright: For the record, this was a dream I had a few months ago after finishing Breaking Dawn, the fourth installment to Twilight. I woke up laughing insanely. Enjoy!**

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It was an ordinary day for the Cullens, or as normal as it gets.

**(****This is important!)** The room was rearranged so that the chairs and couch were in a square shape around and facing towards the T.V. Carlisle was sitting with his legs crossed, that is his left foot resting on his right knee, in a one person chair off to the side, reading a newspaper. Edward, Alice, and Jasper were sitting on the couch with a space on Jasper's right. Edward and Jasper were sitting in that _boy_ way with their legs un-crossed lazily. Rosalie was feeding Renesmee in the last armchair on the other side of the couch. The remote was on the arm next to the space at Jasper.

Emmett was laughing at Bella a few feet behind the couch on a marble part of the floor. Esme was somewhere in the back because she was afraid to cross paths with a red eyed, furious Bella.

"Emmett shut-up!" Bella yelled at Emmett.

"What I can't slap you around a bit? Oh, sorry, that's Edward's job." he burst out in a new wave of chuckles.

Bella's hands were claws as she hissed at him, "It's not my fault that our cottage broke!"

Emmett would have been crying if he could from laughter.

Bella looked crazed for a fraction of a second, then totally composed herself and slowly put her hands on either side of Emmett's shoulders. "Emmett, don't make fun of my sex-life."

"I don't think I can't!" he bellowed.

"Suit yourself." Bella said calmly. Then she shoved her knee up between his legs with as much force as possible. Up until it looked like her knee had entered his stomach, had she removed it and took a step back, looking pleased with herself.

Emmett yelped loudly, then doubled over, hands clutching at his crotch. His breath blew out of him and he landed on the ground with a heavy thud. He moaned loudly, unmoving on the floor as Bella waltzed away looking very pleased with herself.

Everyone was staring at her with wide eyes as Bella glided over to the empty space next to Jasper, taking the remote with her. She plopped down indifferently as they were still frozen, gawking at her. She turned her head towards Jasper absentmindedly.

Jasper met her eyes, and then with a loud 'clap' his un-folded legs snapped closed together with his hands resting on his waist protectively.

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**That's when I woke up hysterical.**

**Hope you liked it! Review!**


	2. Twilight: The Movie

**This is just a little quick-ie I felt like writing.**

**My neighbors came over my house, and I was talking to the eldest about Twilight. **

**Then she told me this story she made up:**

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Bella, Rosaile, Alice, Jasper, Edward, and Emmett all went to see a movie.

"Hope you girlies don't get scared," Emmett snickered.

"Right. Hey, what are we seeing anyways?" Alice dragged out.

"You'll see." Jasper whispered.

They all took they're seats in one of the first rows, which Bella absolutely hated, and sat down. Girls on one side, boys the other.

The movie started and all the boys were stoked, ready for blood and gore while the girls sat bored.

**(ONE HOUR LATER.....)**

"Rip his spleen out his ass!!!!" Bella shouted at the screen.

"Eat that heart like you mean it! And you call yourselves _zombies!"_ Alice shrieked as if the characters could hear her.

Rosalie sat, still bored. Then her eyes widened, "Hey, who's the hunk? No! You don't rip out guts that way! Why are you smearing it on your face! That's such a waste of time!"

"This movie's awesome!" Alice screamed over at the boys over the loud horror music. "Um....guys?"

"Make it stop!"

"Too graphic!"

"Ew! I'm gonna be sick!" They all said in intervals.

Alice rolled her eyes, "Wussies."

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**Not the best story, but ya gotta admit, it's fun to imagine.**

**Disclaimer: My neighbor is the mastermind of the story, and I made sure with her that I could write it.**


	3. Transformers: Chester

_**Hi, this isn't really a Fan Fiction, but I thought this true story was something that desperately needs to be shared.**_

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**About a month ago, my friends at school who are also on were talking about Transformers during lunch. I sit in between** quibble **and our guy friend** (*who's real name isn't included) **Chester.** mirandamaddness **sits across from Chester and on her right sits** Flying Pirates.

**So anyhow, we're talking about Transformers and so we were joking so I said "Yeah, I'd love to date Bumblebee. He's totally hot!" **(*or somewhere along those lines...it was a month ago! Give me a break!)

**So Chester says: "You'd want to date another girl?"**

**We all just stared at him, maybe he didn't hear me right. "You know," I said, "The robo-dude from Transformers?"**

**Chester replies "OOOOoooooo. _Bumblebee's a guy! I never knew that!"_**

**Our mouths dropped. "WHAT!?!" we screamed at him. "What the f* is wrong with you? Couldn't you tell?" mirandamaddness yelled at him.**

**"Well," he started to backtrack, "It's hard to tell! You know, Bee is usually a girl's name..."**

**"Yeah! Sure, the director's gonna let a _girl_ 'lubricate on humans,'" I rebuttled. **

**"And _he_ says, like, 11 words at the end in a _guys'_ voice." Flying Pirates helped.**

**We continued ruining his self-confidence by telling him that he couldn't tell a guy from a girl, and gave him every possible aspect of the movie where they showed the Bee was a dude.**

**Then we made sure he knew that the rest were male also, at least he knew something!  
**

**Then quibble overheard and added to our debate.**

**Then we had to leave lunch. :(  
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***Good times, gooooood times. Chester's okay, but we still joke around with him about it. *dumbass***

**I thought that I should share this with all of you. *evil grin***

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**Mwah ha ha Chester!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Never mess with *stars to say real name* *er* fantasyaddict!!!!!!!!!  
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_Wanna know why we call him Chester??? _

_Send me a Personal Message and I'll tell you._**...... **(its a very interesting reason.....)**  
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**I love you (ITFW):**

**~mirandamaddness**

**~quibble**

**~Flying Pirates**


	4. Max Ride: Pranks

**Here's one for Maximum Ride fans.**

**This is a chapter that I wanted to write, but I didn't know where/which story to put it in.**

**So...**

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**-Max's POV-**

"That's it!" I screamed. I have had it with Iggy! Because Iggy was able to see colors now, he was able to make bombs about 50 times faster than he was before.

We've been able to set up a permanent residence for now until we are needed again, or until the Voice talks to me.

So, yesterday, I tried 'home making' and decided to cut the grass which was looking more and more like a forest each day. The lawn was separated from the house by a long sidewalk in attempt to see enemies approaching.

I was splattered with mud and oil, tired, sweaty, irritated, and was swearing at the mower for about two hours, but in the end, I was able to cut the grass and plant a small bed of flowers. I didn't exactly enjoy this, but at least it made our house look a bit better and not like the re-painted shed it really was.

During dinner, I warned everyone that I didn't want anyone messing-up my handiwork, _or else._ They nodded, but now I'm sure they didn't listen.

The next day (today) I watered my parched plants and decided to do something I haven't done in a year or so: Relax. I had just laid my head on the couch when I heard:

KABOOM!!! BOOM! FIZZ......

I gripped the sides of the couch, not daring to look.

Were there Flyboys? Why would they have missed our house by so much. Then within the next mili-second, I sprang up in a battle position.

My arms flopped to my sides. There were no possible threats, only my poor lawn blown up into bits and a blind Iggy hovering overhead. He had a note pad in his hands as he flew around.

"IGGY!" I screamed.

He dropped the pad in shock. He flew down and felt his way until he found his note pad. "What?" he yelled.

"Iggy, you demolished my,my,my lawn! Why would you do that?"

"I was bored." he answered simply, "How high am I?" he asked. Because he's blind, we need to tell him how high he is so he can land safely.

"12," I answered in a small voice.

"And I needed a place to test my new bomb. See?" he held up his notes. I snatched it out of his hands and was about to throw it over my shoulder when I realized, he was blind. I looked at the beautiful handwriting and decided to question his actions at a later date. Whatever, off-topic.

"And how do you plan to fix this?" I asked.

"Um, I don't" he answered, and flew off. This is just one of the things that sets me off.

So now I have a plan...a devious plan!!!! Mwahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

It's 5:00pm.

"IGGY!" I yelled. (again)

"Wh-at?" he yelled back.

"Get your ass over here."

"Okay," he was next to me in a flash.

I picked Iggy up by his shirt collar and back pants.

"Hey! What are you doing to me!"

"I'm gonna throw you out the window." I replied.

"You know I have _wings._"

"Yeah, I know, but it makes me feel better." I said calmly. I walked his less-than 100 pound self over to the window. We have air sacs, so when we fall, we fall, slowly, but still with a impact.

"Can you please tell me how high up we are?" he semi-pleaded.

"Sure, we're on the 4th floor. Ready?" I asked positioning him the window.

"Whatever." he said casually.

I chucked him out the window, he didn't look a bit concerned. "You, know, I'm not gonna get hurt at- Ack!" Iggy crashed into the ground with a broken nose and a crushed ego. His face slammed into the ground, his body sprawled in a heap around it.

"I THOUGHT YOU SAID WE WERE 4 STORIES! I didn't get time to open my wings!" he screamed.

"I lied, we were TWO stories up."

Ah payback.

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**This is a nice way to blow of steam. One of my guy friends apparently couldn't do this _one_ thing I asked of him and well, I really wish he were Iggy right now. (and I Max.)**


	5. Alvin Meets Ironhide

**I was looking in the Transformer Crossover section of Fanfiction to see if I was still the ruler of Twilight/Transformer fan fictions (which, sadly, I am not*sniffle*) when I noticed that there were some fics that were Alvin and the Chipmunks/Transformers.**

**Now, they are probably good fan fictions, but I have very little interest for Alvin and his squeaky companions. (The movies were…okay.) So this is how my Alvin and the Chipmunks/ Transformers crossover would be:**

**No flames please, this is just a ridiculously short crack-fic.**

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Ironhide, in his black, shining glory was walking along the beach of Diego Garcia watching the lapping waves when he began to hear a squealing kind of sound. He tapped his sound receptors wondering if it was just a quick glitch in his receptors. The squeaking stopped. A few minutes later, it started again. Pushing aside the piles of debris pushed onto the beach, he saw a small trio of small chipmunks.

"Aww," he vented. "How-"

"Hello, we are-!" the tallest one greeted.

"GAH! TALKING RODENTS!" Ironhide screamed. He raised his foot and stomped on the tiny squealing mammals.

"Wait! Stop, stop!" the chubby one shrieked as the foot kept missing their bodies.

"_Damn upraised feet_!" Ironhide yelled mentally looking at his feet, which were three large prongs that attached to the base of his leg. The chipmunks easily out maneuvered his bulk.

"Retreat, retreat! Psychotic robot!" the middle one yelped as Ironhide nipped the end of his tail.

The little trio scampered away, the heavily venting mech shaken from his awkward encounter.

After his rapid vented halted, he looked at his feet. His optics grew red.

"That chubby one lubricated on me!!!!"

~Meanwhile~

Having heard a roar coming back from where they came, Alvin smiled at Theodore. "I guess he found what you left for him."

Theodore smiled impishly while Simon and Alvin knocked fists.

"These robots are crazy. Let's move back with those humans. Hey, look, there's some now," Alvin said pointing to whom they'd soon meet as Sam and Mikaela.

_**THE END….**_

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**And no, I have no idea what talking chipmunks are doing on an island on Diego Garcia, but then again, I have no idea what they're doing on this Earth…**

**Review! ;D**

**P.S. The original rough draft ended…differently. Mwahaha.**

**P.S.S. If anyone is interested with this beginning, you can have it. But please tell me first if you want to use it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**


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